Recently on “hold off, So is this a night out together?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle CEO and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This event is about lesbian interconnectivity â starting up with pals’ exes, pals connecting with our exes, while the society created by all of that crisis.
Come when it comes to gossip, stay for psychological control. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking would not.)
Thanks a lot for the good feedback after the premier! When you haven’t yet give consideration to providing us with a rating or test!
SHOW NOTES
+ 5 years ago Riese built an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of my passions.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference in which I mention starting up with my roommates.
+ My personal crush of this few days Mj Rodriguez released a music video on her behalf track
“one thing to state”
!
+ As somebody who has just observed a number of attacks of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being stunning in my opinion when it turned-out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially nevertheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I’d end up being extremely okay with it existing. I would personally never include somebody else without their unique authorization. However the thought of whenever somebody was actually like, “Confirm that you may be attached to me personally,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, it’s the life i have stayed. I do not care about.” Would be that weird? Is the fact that a challenge?
Christina:
No, since if I happened to ben’t, I would personally feel poor not. I’d wind up as, “hold off, I am not lying?”
Theme tune performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And thank you for visiting
Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast asking the major questions. First of all, would it be a date? Exactly what are dates? That happen to be dates? Do we like dates? These represent the types of questions we address about this here incredibly pro and lovely podcast.
Drew:
My name is Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m Christina Tucker. I am also an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. I’m getting better at describing myself as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is you. That is whom we’re.
Drew:
Yeah. And so all of our major subject recently is The Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it required a sting. I’m not sure. That believed truly dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thank you, thank you so much. No, no, no. The appropriate level of drama.
Christina:
Thank-you.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore we’re speaking about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I favor that phrase as it feels like you will need to restart the lesbians. It may sound just like the connection to the internet actually working.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very sophisticated, really futuristic, but also has existed since there has been lesbians, i do believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe students would state when they discovered the most important lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside of them carved inside sand. And I think’s just what that film is focused on, proper? It’s about the data? That film with Kate Winslet while the sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it’s about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
was about cave women. I’d watch that lesbian motion picture.
Christina:
Really, as I have not observed it, i will bravely declare that it absolutely was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we have so many lesbian period parts, but we have now never eliminated back that much. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we carry out.
Christina:
Let us just hold taking it furthermore back in time.
Drew:
Before we have to your major topic, you’re however getting to know all of us. And I also felt that it will be enjoyable playing a game title where you guys could actually learn Christina. Very all of our icebreaker with this few days is some online game that I call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, once again, thus stressed about it. This could just be just how I come in to the video game. This might be my game mentality, just a little high-key, slightly stressed. Which is ok. All of us are discovering.
Drew:
In my opinion which is great. I think which will allow you to be more susceptible, maybe.
Christina:
Certainly one of my favorite emotions.
Drew:
Merely a horror, only an acute terror. So the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is i’ll explain a situation. Let us call-it Christina fan fiction. And that I’m attending pause after each little section to get want, “Okay, Christina, I know which you have never stayed with a partner, don’t want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will both say yes or I’ll say, “i am ready.”
Drew:
Unless you â well, we’re going to see here. But I’m thrilled. In my opinion I’ve perhaps cracked the rule.
Christina:
You damaged the code? I am excited.
Drew:
Let’s observe long this requires. And when you never would, In my opinion you victory? I am not sure how there are champions right here.
Christina:
I am not sure that we now have champions within the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I am not sure if you’ll agree with that after this. So I’m getting going.
Christina:
Reasonable enough.
Drew:
Okay. Very, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your friend’s marriage. Regardless of the large number of romcoms you’ve absorbed, you did not go to this wedding thinking you would fulfill anyone because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is the real and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your designated chair and so are glancing at the phone once you realize a woman at your dining table is looking at you. She introduces by herself since your buddy’s former baby-sitter. She’s stayed a pal from the household, but she doesn’t really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You begin talking. She proposes to get you a drink. And when she compares, you understand she’s six legs tall, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. And that means you know what? I am simply going to stop there and stay like, at this time, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m fascinated. I’m intrigued because i would get put during this wedding ceremony. But so far I am not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. That is totally reasonable. Entirely fair. Okay. Which means you spend entire marriage learning each other. There is simply a sudden spark and immediate biochemistry. And yes, you will do attach and sex is amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And therefore this marriage was at Northern Ca. And that means you both expand the remains for three times to shag and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. Therefore provide to separate the expense of the now combined space, but she laughs you off and is like, “clearly perhaps not, honey.” So the next three days are miraculous. You really feel your wall space tumbling all the way down. You’re slipping quicker than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Therefore simply for understanding’s sake, I’m having trouble picturing some sort of in which we took three surprise times from try to spend time with you i really do maybe not understand. That looks bonkers. In case i did so, beneficial to me personally. But i am not really U-Hauling at this time. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is okay. You only came across. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank-you such.
Drew:
So she comes back to ny and also you return to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where I live.
Drew:
And you’re texting all the time. This is where you reside and it is where this lady lives. And you are texting continuously while see each other many times four weeks. She’s extremely hectic with her task, but she’s fast to get you a train citation in order to arrive see the girl and remain at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Following six months pass. And one night if you are off to meal, she requires one to move around in together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And go on to New York? I really don’t really like New York. No, I am not moving in in the 6 months tag. I am not doing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. So that you hold online dating cross country. She realizes that you’ll need some time she actually is happy to anticipate you. Some more several months move. It’s now already been over annually. Your own landlord lets you know that they are offering your home to a developer who’s setting up condos, so that you can’t restore it. You should discover another destination. The today girl lets you know that no force, but the woman provide still stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for a few reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Please reveal.
Christina:
Largely, in some sort of whereby my personal landlord offered my house to build up it, my property manager happens to be my closest friend, with the intention that seems like anything has gone incorrect within relationship. And I also must simply keep Philadelphia anyhow. Whenever I have to maneuver in with my girl over here, that appears good. That’s good. Entirely fine. But yeah, In my opinion i may need an external force like a mean property owner.
Drew:
Which is thus â ok. I did so believe might have to require construction getting indeed there, thus I’m glad We knew that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is exactly what needs to eventually myself very first.
Drew:
Well, I’m grateful to understand what it does take. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, exactly how much more hours?
Christina:
Actually, that could have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York aren’t also that far from each other. I obtained space over here. We’re bouncing back and forth. We’re having good times. I possibly could have leave that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst person i am aware.
Drew:
I did not realize that Shoshana owned your house. Really, there you go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, which was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I am stressed, is clear.
Drew:
And I also’m pleased that i understand⦠Maybe in case you are previously, therefore if anyone’s ever matchmaking both you and desires one to relocate, maybe your own gf informed Shoshana to market our home in the interests of your union.
Christina:
Genuinely the fastest method â someone would just have to communicate with Shoshana and be like, “simply kick the girl out.” Then she’d resemble, “Yeah, yes. Definitely.” That could be the way it occurred, in the event she don’t sell our home. Someone would you need to be like, “are you able to simply kick this lady away thus she will simply conquer it and move in beside me?” And she’d state yes. A hundred percent she would accomplish that. That’s what friendship is.
Drew:
I adore that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s really beautiful.
Drew:
Well, I believe like we discovered many about you.
Christina:
Thanks. I believe like I learned loads about myself personally, also. Danger of homelessness is actually the matter that helps to keep me transferring any scenario, I guess. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s great.
Christina:
That was really fascinating. I’m just as thrilled to maneuver into the main sector because i do believe referring to lesbian connection using this visitor, using this unique guest, i do believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Just how are you currently experiencing?
Drew:
I’m very excited. This is exactly an expert. And by that, after all an
L Word
expert, additionally some an expert inside subject available.
Christina:
I think a few things is generally genuine, my good friend. I believe two things is real without a doubt. Can we wish present all of our visitor or do we desire the guest introducing themselves?
Drew:
I would love our guest introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I’ll point out that all of our visitor is the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. And is unusual becoming the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, its.
Riese:
I got not to state everything. I didn’t also get it done. I did state situations. I’d to stay here calmly.
Christina:
Therefore had been actually daring. As well as your faces had been valued.
Riese:
Thank you so much a whole lot.
Christina:
Though this will be demonstrably an audio average, i would like our audience to know that Riese was actually creating some very nice impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There is many ways to be heard. Guess what happens I mean? That is what i usually state. I will be the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that is myself. You will find your pet dog called Carol. And I also have dated individuals.
Christina:
Congrats regarding the kickball!
Riese:
Thanks a lot. I have been a part of people.
Christina:
Great. Loving that. That’s great to create for this, this here internet dating podcast. Which is really good.
Riese:
Yeah. I believe that⦠can there be other things?
Drew:
No, I think which is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you decide and desire to discuss.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You know an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
Its like once you hit. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are gross, therefore I just exhausted all of them from my personal brain.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we straight away thought of you for this subject.
Christina:
That is correct.
Drew:
Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer females and non-binary people in lesbian society have already been like, I don’t know, making love with people exactly who people they know have had gender with since long before
The L Term
had been ever a set. But i really do feel
The L Word
solidified a certain cultural concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like you would have most insight into this subject.
Riese:
It’s correct. Two of the writers, i wish to state, of
The L Term
had this genuine chart of these as well as their buddies these were attracting on wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, was one among these. She spoke to us about any of it, that they had developed this. Because obviously, everyone for the reason that writer’s area had banged other people in writer â you realize, additionally the extended internet of these generation of lesbians in L. A.. And so they noticed that and they were like, “let us put it when you look at the program.” And a few of them take the chart. Like, some people which ⦠like, genuine people are regarding data as a joke.
Christina:
Which is wonderful. That is the manner in which you learn you have made it.
Riese:
Is not that sexy?
Christina:
That could be exciting for my situation.
Riese:
And therefore when you haven’t observed
The L Term,
to begin with, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of one of your head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s every thing over her wall. And it also may be the title of a site they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. While the idea ⦠and it’s really during the pilot, i believe. In 1st occurrence, Alice starts talking about how everybody’s connected, because every person’s connected because of this person. And that I can hook up you, as you’re probably at the most two degrees from the me personally. Which ended up being real. Like, even with Dana, who had very limited experience because she was a closeted football member, they nonetheless could link her. And that is actuality because it’s genuine.
Christina:
That’s society. Yeah. That is what culture appears like.
Riese:
That is society. Which is queer culture immediately. And from now on everyone else can make unique charts.
Christina:
Yeah. To ensure that was going to end up being my personal after that question, was actually have actually either people made a chart? Because Really don’t believe We have, I am also method of now thinking like, the thing that was this last year seated inside my house for basically failed to create a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, really?
Riese:
I think I’ve done it during my record, as like ⦠Because i love, I am not sure, planning information, i suppose, as a thought physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that is additionally why i’m astonished that You will findn’t done it. I really like the thought of categorizing things.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I don’t know why its very fascinating, but it is. Its interesting getting similar, wow, many of these individuals, they are connected. It is untamed.
Drew:
On show, once ourchart.com is actually devised, obtained a genuine chart that folks can add on stuff. And I also feel just like something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Back,
now individuals say continuously is a lot like, when this existed in a real means, no body would place their names upon it, nobody would feel comfortable placing their unique brands onto it.
Riese:
You’ll.
Drew:
I might. I might end up being very great with it present. I would never include someone else without their particular permission. However the notion of similar, anytime some body had been like, “concur that you will be connected with me personally,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, this is the existence i have stayed. Really don’t worry about.” Usually odd? Would be that a problem?
Christina:
No, since if I happened to ben’t, i might feel terrible not being ⦠i might be like, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that could really send me into a light ethical stress about just who Im as someone, the things I’m doing. Was we interesting? Perform people {like
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